The mole family

A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Yum! I smell maple syrup!”

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and says, “Oh, Yum! I smell honey!”

Now the baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can’t because the bigger moles are in the way.

This makes him whine, “Geez, all I can smell is …. moleasses!”

The English and the Irish

Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store.

As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to
the other, ‘I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his
face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.’

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious
Irishman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Irish accent asked
‘What might ye be sellin’ here?’ One of the men replied sarcastically,
‘We’re selling assholes.’ Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said, ‘You’re
doing well … only two left!’

The English should not match wits with the Irish!!

U.S. Elections

There are only about two months until the election, an
election that will decide the next President of the United States.

The person elected will be the president of all Americans,
not just the Democrats or the Republicans.

To show our solidarity as Americans, let’s all get
together and show each other our support for the candidate of our choice.
It’s time that we come together, Democrats and Republicans alike.

If you support the policies and character of McCain, please
drive with your headlights on during the day.

If you support Obama, please drive with your headlights off
at night.

Thank you for your participation.

Russia and Alabama

All of the Wal-Marts across Alabama sold out of ammunition as of
yesterday.

A reliable source said that one of the purchasers commented that while
Russia invaded Georgia, they sure as hell ain’t doin’ it to Alabama.

Englischer Schulwitz

My five-year old students are learning to read.

Yesterday one of them pointed at a picture in a zoo
book and said,

‘Look at this! It’s a frickin’ elephant!’

I took a deep breath, then asked…’What did
you call it?’
‘It’s a frickin’ elephant! It says so on the picture!’
And so it does…
‘ A f r i c a n Elephant ‘

Hooked on phonics! Ain’t it wonderful?